Have you ever felt like you’re working hard on every aspect of your life only to come back where you started?

Certain decisions in our life are always spoken, thought about, and debated in and on with our own minds or that of a listening ear, but never acted upon. Each day the pattern repeats, you wake up breaking up with your bed, drag yourself out of the house, or in today’s context in front of the webcam, or just lay there thinking – why do I feel so heavy? Am I tired already? Did I not get enough sleep? I have a lot to do, why am I being so lazy? I don’t want to work anymore, I want to try something that I am passionate about. I don’t want to keep sleeping or do that repetitive job anymore. And then just like that, you start dreaming about how it would feel to work on something that ignites the fire in you, you know it will be lite af. You dream about the day you’ll type that resignation letter or start that Instagram page you have curated multiple times in your head and heart, and its 2pm, a notification shines on your screen and your dreams are scrolled over for that reel which just popped, and you keep doing this exact same thing day by day, month by month. Nothing changes. You on around circles and the unrealized but very real dreams remain within those constraints.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Don’t we already know what we want? Well, here’s the deal, our brain is wired to our comfort zone, it tries to protect our decisions every day. It’s instinctual to our patterns and aims that relaxing all our senses, by analyzing and reflecting our past choices and experiences. “I’ll do that after watching just one episode”, we give excuses and convince ourselves that the fatigue and extra stress after or before anything productive or unproductive is just too much work or you being lazy. What we fail to recognize that our neglected aspirations act up unrealized burdens and make us feel tired day by day.

Maybe if we try to observe and look into our decisions we will recognize that pattern, that pattern of immediately stopping when you feel unconformable to try something new, the feeling of safety washing over you, ” at least I know how to go around my rude boss, at least I have my movies and series to keep me company, at least I know what it feels to feel unhappy”

There is a lot going on beneath the surface other than just being lazy or unable to quit things that make us unhappy. What if for a moment we close our eyes and remember the times when we took decisions, decisions that made us move and try something different? Having that unmatched flavor of ice cream and immediately regretting but feeling not a bit of unhappiness for the decision you made?

Can we try to remember that feeling that comes after the seconds of uncomfort? Would it be worth it to experience those few minutes for a whole lot of adventure? To book that holiday, to open that art page, to apply for that job, to quit that job, or to go eat that pineapple on pizza.

Can we apply this same energy and go off at a tangent to stop going in circles?

I love you, I hate you, I love myself, I hate myself. I hate the world, I hate men. I met so many beautiful people along the way that in spite of a few bad people I still find this world to be an amazing place.

Words are beautiful and unimaginably powerful weapons. They have the power of creation and destruction. They have incredible healing powers and are equally hurtful too. Words are magic. In the right hands, they can change the world for the better. 

I can sit here today and rake to social media and “open up” about what problems life has actually sent across my way. I can give you detailed accounts of all of it. An endless list of 100 tiny situations and cry to the world but the fact will be that I would have done that just to gain attention. Have my 15mins of fame while pretending that I just want to show the world that I went through this and you are not alone. This little stunt is just telling everyone that let’s be sad together. This little stunt is not helping the world get better. The world didn’t change because people in tough situations decided to sit and cry for days and told everyone else let’s cry together. The world changed because those few humans, those chosen few humans decided I am gonna stand and fight against all odds. I am going to come out of this tough situation guns blazing and tell the world how I won. They gave the world answers. They gave the world words that would heal. The power of words. 

Side Note: You, yes YOU reading all this. You are an amazing, beautiful, kind and compassionate human being. You will always find strength within yourself. YES, YOU WILL. Breathe and take a break and let your mind show you where that strength is waiting inside that beautiful soul of yours. Let your mind guide you into your own safe space and you will see the magic unfold. You will feel that energy in your bones. You can already feel it. That tiny goosebumps that you are getting is a sign of that energy. There is more of it inside you. Let it guide you, my sweet beautiful human. Sending you all the love I have and I have plenty for you. I can’t heal the world but my role in your life is that of a healer and I will show you kindness and compassion when you need it.

Now let’s talk about naming every situation shall we.

Naming everything is so simple and yet a huge deal. I have this, I have that etc etc. You can never walk away from problems. There is no version of your story that will be without certain problems but in this version of your story, you will either call yourself a victim and keep talking about how things used to be and how you are always a victim now and how everything is a problem OR, BIG FAT F*CKING OR You can be a warrior. Not a survivor but a F*CKING WARRIOR and that is exactly who you are, you have just forgotten it. Warriors don’t look at what life used to be and whine, they look at what life has been till date, all the ups and downs and learn every possible lesson they can think of to fight every possible situation that comes along the way believing the entire time that THEY ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THIS VICTORY.

This is the part where you use words for yourself. When you open that journal of yours don’t just write about every little problem or don’t just write random positive words that you found online. You take that pen and start defining yourself as if you have the hand of God on your shoulder. You define yourself in the most unique way that you have been designed to be.

Words in the right hands will change the world for the better and that little world is inside your little head and you have the most perfect hands to use those powerful words.

You will always have the last word. It will always be your word against everyone else.

Journaling has given us so much more than we know about. Even if you never journaled in your entire life to date, your life was impacted by one. Journals came from the ordinary, the extraordinary, from the inventors, from the survivors, and also from the oppressors. Today we will explore how journaling reached you and the evolution it had to go through to make it as you know it to be. To know the origin of things that we usually won’t consider knowing about, have one of the most fun stories. The evolution of journaling is one among them. It started for practical reasons to keep records of rational everyday things like finances.

When the world steps out of the practicality to imaginative, evolution is achieved.

Did you know what’s my favourite evolution of journaling known to mankind? Travel Journaling of course! And its origins are obvious yet fascinating. Travel journals are again one of the imaginative inventions done for reasons much more than practicality. The very first travel journals are possible of religious origins or the ones written by monks, saints, and believers about their pilgrim travel. Without the very thing that creates conflicts between many, religion and faith, maybe our ancestors wouldn’t have a quenching thirst for discovering the unknown lands. With these ideas of faraway lands was born the fascination. The same kind that lured Columbus towards the land of spices and gold, to only allegedly ‘discover’ America.

One of the first records of life and life events was done by Samuel Pepys. He wrote a diary for over a decade and recorded the Great Fire of London, the effects of the plague, and the glorious coronation of King Charles II. Something so personal of his experience influenced history. It was an act of opening up a world, a time we would never see. Without this idea, maybe Anne Frank wouldn’t have found her solace in the worst of her times. And we wouldn’t know about her as we do. Diary was an evolved form of something much more than practical records. It was something that let us step into the worlds of people we’d never meet. What’s more intriguing is that the Nazis had journals too. Journals that recorded the experiments, the activities, and the dark history. So the takeaway here is, it is not the art of journaling that counts but the creator of it. For a diary of Anne Frank that could change the lives of people even today and a journal of a Nazi that still bring chills to the spine.

One of the first, oldest, expressive diary or journal known to mankind is by a Mother. A mother who deeply described emotions like loneliness, the grief of losing her mother and the joy of celebrating her son’s success. Michitsuna’s mother, a woman living amongst the Japanese Heian court composed her journal, Kagerou Nikki (“The Mayfly Diary“) called The Gossamer Years in English, around 974 A.D. It continues to impact the lives of people even today. Around 800 years before in 167 A.D., a Roman emperor named Marcus Aurelius penned his deepest thoughts in a 12-book journal called “Things to One’s Self” now known as Meditations. One of my personal favourites is the journals of Leonardo Da Vinci. For he redefined art, biology and inventions that set the base for the world we live in.

The art of journaling gave us more than we have ever credited it for. Until the 1960s the healing, therapeutic potential of expressive and reflective journaling was fairly unknown. Dr. Ira Progoff, a psychologist in New York City, was the first workshop host to teach his method of the Intensive Journal. This “psychological notebook” became a part of therapy given to his clients.

Fast forward to today, at the age of emotional evolution as I believe it to be, journaling is becoming one of the healthiest trends that there are. This throwback to the evolution grounds us to the impact it can have not just on the self, but maybe on the world as a whole. Your journaling journey doesn’t have to be par to Anne Frank to achieve it. Healing oneself heals the generations ahead. And like we learnt from history, more than the art of journaling, the nature and intentions of the creator make the difference. So, began your journey of journaling if you haven’t yet, it is a way to impact history in ways you’ll never know.

Happy Healing!

I love to write about travel, experiences, insights of building a business, being a writer, existentialism and more philosophies. But recently I have made a point to share the rawest vulnerable sides of being all of it. The emotional journey covered in my writing came as a surprise to many. I wasn’t very comfortable either at first. It didn’t match up with my ever-so wide smile and comforting spirit. It was a sudden decision of not thinking much and just doing it. Allowing people to see more shades of me. I’ve often received messages from people of how they felt inspired, happy, respect and all those beautiful words they could find, after knowing or meeting me or just following my work. I have always been much more grateful to those than I have ever expressed.

Between all of these overwhelming messages, there were these few close ones who constantly looked for more. To be more proud, inspired, to feel more hopeful or things I will not be able to comprehend. They unknowingly made me the projections of their wants or maybe, I allowed them to make me. Either way, I have been on a spot or on a certain pedestal to be judged on. “She’s going to do something really big someday,” fortunately or unfortunately I have heard this ever since I was three or four. See, don’t take me wrong, I am not sitting here questioning my privilege that people loved, appreciated and cheered me and my work. I know some don’t get that. But “too much” of anything is a complex position to be in. Good or Bad.

When two people tell you, you’re going to do something great, you hold that on as hope for when days get rough. When too many people tell you the same, it starts becoming a noise. Every single thing you do, you will think thrice and contemplate much more times. When these things become normal for you, the liberty of just being is lost. Just being a kid, just being a teen, just being a human. I lost track when these words of people changed from being my driving force to a weight that I cannot take off my shoulders. Till the point there is a driving force, you find opportunities. When it gets overboard, every loss seems like unspoken accountability.

Here’s a thing, when I observed more I learnt, you don’t have to be told ten thousand times that you’re meant to be something, to feel this weight. Most of us carry it, in different forms. Some under-appreciated, unrecognised, over idolised, forced to ace or even challenged too much, by people, society or maybe just themselves. Regardless of which and how, we all have this bag of something that we carry, that keeps us from just being. These are all forms of expectations coming, loathing, brewing or pushed on. Expectations in moderation is a good high, they take us to places where we wouldn’t have tried before. If this high grows and attaches itself too much to expectations they become high expectations. And that, folks, is where the badge of honour becomes weight on our shoulders.

So, what I learnt is balance is everything. This balance won’t come from outside, it has to be developed like a filter. Adapting this filter before the vessel of comprehension is overfilled with expectations or broken with lack of it; is outright a challenge. For examples, the words that were the driving force for me has become a part of dark humour for me now. To revive that and understanding how to just be, regardless of all of it, is something I am working on. The balance of this high is achieved by constant practice of perception towards it. And like I said it will never come from outside. If something is affecting the inside, it often can be fixed from the inside. As for the outside, it’s just noise, it will either start being a dark comedy or maybe content for something you blabber on the internet. The point is, I have chosen to enjoy this process too, it just makes it easier when you choose how to.