An Essay by Priyanka Tawde

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I had this unshakable urge to shift things in my life, and I left my job. The last time I had such an urge to shake my life was when I changed the entire direction of my career, and oh boy, was it beautiful? Staying true to my gut has cost me days and days of self-reflection, with no regrets. I went from an overly obsessed career-driven person to truly understanding where my influences and definitions of success come from and most importantly what I truly want. This shift amplified in the lockdown and it came with a realisation that the world has been shifting in terms of career strongly and rapidly, for everyone. Back in 2006, more than half of the social media platforms did not exist, and nor did more than half of the most sought jobs that were born out of them. My observations say that this shift was so fast and unpredictable on a time scale, especially for millennials and generations before that they faced one big challenge they weren’t prepared for.

Unguided Mind shift

Generations before the millennials, especially their parents, were coming from a space of valuing a certain life, a stable life. The wars had shown them the disruption of instability and desperation to get back to stability. Well, when something so intense, global, baleful, comes as a part of your life experience, foreseeing or planning for the future is mostly uncertain. Haven’t we got a diluted dose of that in recent times? Now that we see why stability is so valuable to them and how they hold close to ‘getting your life together’ feels so safe and successful to them, let’s try to understand why we are considering them in the first place. This is the generation that raised millennials, as teachers, as parents, family, leaders, influencers of prominent fields and mentors in any context. They were the source of the ideas of the world millennials built on, and so did the future generations. While the stability seemed fair, the world wasn’t prepared for what was to come. 

The internet was truly born after Google entered the story, and yet, it was just getting started. The internet was evolving faster than the people’s adaptability to it. When early social apps evolved, millennials were entering their prime teenage years. Take a moment to realise in this span while the internet evolved, these teen humans planned and dreamed of their career on the lines guided for stability. But when they entered the market to look for jobs, the idea of jobs was already shifting and changing as they knew. From absolute thin air (metaphorically) appeared job titles that never existed before, and that was just the start. This is where the chaos began.

Millennials were in the middle of wrapping their heads around evolution, while later generations were born into the evolving social media era. Meanwhile, the generation of stability was struck by this unstable, ever-so-evolving world at the fingertips era. More and more new-age people turned to new ideas of what life and career meant to them, and it is still evolving, changing much more rapidly than a lot of generations of the old can wrap their minds around. Do you know why this is essential to consider and understand? For a while, while the world shifted, there were suddenly young minds with no solid guides to follow but an arena of wild possibilities to run to. When we realise this, we see why millennials were often quoted as ‘directionless and lost’.

The Progressing Shift & What It Looks Like For Millenials

Deep diving in the Ocean, that’s what I can best describe how it may feel to ‘ride the wave’. I personally think every generation comes with a purpose of its own too, just like individual purpose, there is a purpose tied to generations too. And my guess is, Millennials are the generation of healing, while the following is of redefinition. While the millennials gamble their healing with the outdated past and unfathomable future, they are becoming the transition generation. Transitioning to adapt to a new world, create one’s own space, find one’s own idea of life and achieve what they define as success. Their generation may manage to walk on their self-defined path but the subconscious predefined ideas of safety, success and life, have often been found to challenge self-worth, resulting in an increasing number of people with imposter syndrome.

More and more people are turning to wellness, therapy and self-improvement in all senses. The millennial generation is shaping the new age work culture when it comes to careers. From work-life balance, paternity leaves to purposeful work culture and more shaping the career aspect. Each is set to define their own career and life path often swayed far away from traditional lives. This in turn will result in sometimes failing on expectations laid on by the previous generations. This looks like a constant loop of self-actualized life game tropes. This transition generation often will thus look like they’re in the middle of chaos. Although, the chaos is resetting the world slowly.

The world in terms of career and life seems to move towards more personal sense than done for family, country or an industrial revolution. This seems to be on the rise as we head on into future generations. It may sound selfish but this very transition of valuing individuality may lead us out of the herd mentality and ironically closer to a sustainable community.

The transitional chaos set by generation Y or millennials seems like the necessary thread of the evolution of emotional aspects of humanity as a whole. And while we understand practically why each generation stands where they do and why they face what they do, it is important to keep in mind that these give birth to powerful individual stories. So, whichever era you belong to and whatever shift you are a catalyst to, your individual story will always impact the big picture. And that, I think, is pretty cool! 

Interior design is one of the fastest-growing industries in India. It is becoming a popular career choice and having a prettier house with trendy functions which people see on social media platforms is on the checklist of both adults as well as kids. As per Wikipedia – “Interior design is the art and science of enhancing the interior of a building to achieve a healthier and more aesthetically pleasing environment for the people using the space. An interior designer is someone who plans, researches, coordinates, and manages such enhancement projects.”

An Interior Designer goes beyond the technicalities to turn your blank canvas house into a personalized masterpiece home. Apart from technical skills, understanding what people need and taking an extra edge to go beyond their dreams and expectations is an innate ability of an Interior Designer. Today we’re in conversation with Ms Anuja Aakre from Sukriti Interiors. As we feature her work, she takes us on a journey of details in this short interview. The questions were a part of a Q&A held on Project Expression’s Instagram. Let’s dive into the world of interiors!

  1. Why do I need an Interior Designer when I can just see some DIY projects?

A common issue faced by interior designers these days is that clients research images from the internet and expect their designers to copy the same. Although sometimes it can be possible most of the time it may not suit as per space available, the theme which is chosen and the most important aspect – budget constraint.  An interior designer helps you to plan according to the space dimensions, requirements of the client, chosen theme and as per the budget in the best possible way. They plan out the layout, theme, colour schemes, structures, furniture and furnishing, lighting, decorations and establishments. Their knowledge, experience and contacts in the industry can help to make any residence or commercial space aesthetically, economically and functionally better than a non-professional.

  1. When to consult an Interior Designer for a redevelopment project or new construction? (What stage)

If you involve an interior designer at the earliest stage it will be helpful to utilise resources with proper planning and it can avoid redo of work, wastage of time, money and material. If building a house from scratch it is better to plan furniture layout and electrical points beforehand. Also, other things like plumbing or civil work etc. which are supposed to be concealed should be preplanned. An interior designer can work on this before it comes to life and avoids mismanagement. 

  1. Is it important to understand personal style from all the confusing terms like bohemian, industrial, traditional etc?

Yes, an interior designer should understand the style as per the personal choices of each client. Interior designing has many styles and some are also mixed matched of two. It is important to choose a style which you want to go home or to work in. Some may want a lot of storage space and end up making it cluttered and some may want to keep it minimal, some may like neutral tones and some may like bright primary colours. It depends upon the client’s requirements and how an interior designer can accommodate them in the best possible way.

  1. How to look for a good Interior Designer?

Nowadays it is very easy to get an interior designer using social media platforms. Whenever you contact an interior designer who is unfamiliar to you, always check their work profile and then proceed with telling your requirements. If their way of working, their concept, style and budget match with you then only one should proceed. There are many interior design studios, freelancers, big companies are available with their websites, on Facebook and Instagram. One can easily pick by looking at their work and making an inquiry. 

  1. I want to clearly convey what’s on my mind for my room but I don’t know how to do that?

Making a home is the most personal thing. We all have pictured how our house should look like. Convey it to the interior designer through sketches, pictures, videos or any other references and watch it getting built in front of your eyes. Consider telling minor details about why you want certain things in a certain way to make them understand better. 

6. I own tons of stuff and a lot of furniture and crave floor space. Are there ways to make it happen?

A room looks bigger as per the floor space you can see. If we put furniture which is wall-mounted, it can help the room look bigger. Nowadays mirror panelling is also trending to make space look bigger with reflection.

And even after this, it is always better to get rid of unnecessary clutter and move towards minimalist design!

‘Interior Designing is an Art that one designer creates on the dreams of the other. This art is personal, attached to emotions and nurtured dreams for many years. And hence it seems so fulfilling to be working in this field, says Anuja.

The dream of making any house into a home is possible for all. You’re just a phone call away from an interior designer to shape your dream house.

I love you, I hate you, I love myself, I hate myself. I hate the world, I hate men. I met so many beautiful people along the way that in spite of a few bad people I still find this world to be an amazing place.

Words are beautiful and unimaginably powerful weapons. They have the power of creation and destruction. They have incredible healing powers and are equally hurtful too. Words are magic. In the right hands, they can change the world for the better. 

I can sit here today and rake to social media and “open up” about what problems life has actually sent across my way. I can give you detailed accounts of all of it. An endless list of 100 tiny situations and cry to the world but the fact will be that I would have done that just to gain attention. Have my 15mins of fame while pretending that I just want to show the world that I went through this and you are not alone. This little stunt is just telling everyone that let’s be sad together. This little stunt is not helping the world get better. The world didn’t change because people in tough situations decided to sit and cry for days and told everyone else let’s cry together. The world changed because those few humans, those chosen few humans decided I am gonna stand and fight against all odds. I am going to come out of this tough situation guns blazing and tell the world how I won. They gave the world answers. They gave the world words that would heal. The power of words. 

Side Note: You, yes YOU reading all this. You are an amazing, beautiful, kind and compassionate human being. You will always find strength within yourself. YES, YOU WILL. Breathe and take a break and let your mind show you where that strength is waiting inside that beautiful soul of yours. Let your mind guide you into your own safe space and you will see the magic unfold. You will feel that energy in your bones. You can already feel it. That tiny goosebumps that you are getting is a sign of that energy. There is more of it inside you. Let it guide you, my sweet beautiful human. Sending you all the love I have and I have plenty for you. I can’t heal the world but my role in your life is that of a healer and I will show you kindness and compassion when you need it.

Now let’s talk about naming every situation shall we.

Naming everything is so simple and yet a huge deal. I have this, I have that etc etc. You can never walk away from problems. There is no version of your story that will be without certain problems but in this version of your story, you will either call yourself a victim and keep talking about how things used to be and how you are always a victim now and how everything is a problem OR, BIG FAT F*CKING OR You can be a warrior. Not a survivor but a F*CKING WARRIOR and that is exactly who you are, you have just forgotten it. Warriors don’t look at what life used to be and whine, they look at what life has been till date, all the ups and downs and learn every possible lesson they can think of to fight every possible situation that comes along the way believing the entire time that THEY ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THIS VICTORY.

This is the part where you use words for yourself. When you open that journal of yours don’t just write about every little problem or don’t just write random positive words that you found online. You take that pen and start defining yourself as if you have the hand of God on your shoulder. You define yourself in the most unique way that you have been designed to be.

Words in the right hands will change the world for the better and that little world is inside your little head and you have the most perfect hands to use those powerful words.

You will always have the last word. It will always be your word against everyone else.

The climax is the topic. There is no simpler way of saying it. The way we perceive time in a defined system of hours and minutes is far from what Time really is. This system is simply a calculation of one rotational cycle of Earth. So, while the Earth makes one run around the Sun we decided how to rat race. The routine of how we must spend the 24 hours was set to guide us to make our own. But the way we progressed to it, we defined rules to it all. Not just 24 hours but all the rotations of Earth that we’ll be part of. From birth to old age. The moment our perception of a guideline became a ‘rule’, we lost the life in it.

Ever heard those well crafted motivational videos where allegedly successful people share how they spend their 24 hours? Watching Elon Musk saying, work for 22 hours, someone else asking to hustle for ruthless hours or making your hours count, endless of these. It got so much out of hand, that these hours have become a separate entity to life. There’s an entire culture dedicated to it, the hustle culture. While it can be something one prefers, the problem arises when the hustle culture lures people, desperate people, with half-truths.

Time is a lie

This race of 24 hours, which we all have, makes a difference with one thing for all. Oh, no not that vague statement of ‘how we use these 24 hours makes the difference.’ Instead, the difference is inherently simple. It lies directly in who you are. Your body keeps changing, preferring different things through the ages. You can be a morning person as a teen and a night owl in your late twenties. Working hard for hours can be fruitful but if you want to be successful, you have to work hard on the right thing. Imagine Elon Musk working hard in comedy. Assuming that to be something that is not his calling but something that experts say is a good industry to be in, or where the future lies. You get the point? I really like that phrase “Speed is irrelevant if you are going in the wrong direction.” The same applies to hard work.

Wondering how the rant of hustle culture relates to Time being non-existent? This is one example of how for years countless cultures, norms and rules, have defined your time for you. The time which physically didn’t exist and could have been defined in any and all ways possible by you for you. The worth of your time cannot be defined by anyone but you. I spent my fair share of time wondering why I couldn’t hustle and still want to build a business. Things started changing when I set myself free to understand how I as an individual flows through time. Each one of us is born with circumstances, situations, unclarity, dreams, setbacks, limitations and strengths. Far different from those we idolize. While it is true that they don’t define us, they are part of us, and our story. Navigating right through them will narrate our story.

So, wake up, the time that you take so seriously is not real. Follow it like a guide, not like the ultimatum. Understand what works for you, how these 24 hours of Earth’s rotation will be a PART of your life, not your life itself. Invest these hours in things that move you, move with the planet, gracefully, don’t race it, unless the race is what you want. It is a truly beautiful science that time is relative. And before we rush to define our time like the experts say, let’s first learn to live our time.

I was searching for an interesting topic to write about. On Googling, I stumbled upon such overly saturated, repeated blogs, videos and content talking about the same stuff in tweaked active and passive voices. One or Two tips added or removed or innovated and voila, there was a whole new expert content that you’ll need. Ridiculous! Imagine if that’s what we did in the Renaissance. Defined how to create a viral art rather than an art that stands out, matters or speaks volumes of the idea. Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Picasso, all trying top 10 things to make their painting first in the line! Ah! you get the idea.

Well, the worse of it is, these “overly-saturated” tips are legit. They really work to get more traffic, reach more audiences or rank your content on the google page. How absurd it is! I really don’t wish to hate it, because I know to navigate it through SEO and Viral Topics: I know how it works. While it gives equal chance for anyone to use these ways and make it work for them. But somewhere in these overly confined and repeated tricks, the art is lost in many ways. When I worked with individuals across the industry, I realised how some simply create these soulless spreadsheets of content. Countless topics simply based on trends or creating the next new trend. Most of them laid on the years and years of a ‘tried and tested formula’ of topic curation. For example, the one like our today’s ridiculous blog topic. (I say that in a comical sense.) So, for the sake of it, here are the reasons why I have more hate than support for writing trends:

1. Art Should Not Be Attached To Rules – Ever!

Writer's Life

When one defines rules before creation, it limits the creation itself. It can be done in any innovative spirit, yet it will miss out on the uniqueness. For example, the top 10 topics for a blog or how to create a viral blog! Ironically, the first top 10 results you will find under these searches will be of the same bullshit coated in different and fancier versions of wordplays. Some will find innovative ways to draw attention to the same rules of creating a blog that works/sells. Maybe, that’s why in some ways there is such a morbid word – ghost – attached to nameless writers.

2. Online Writing has Roughly Become Equal To Selling

Writer's Life

The motive of creating art has changed so much. Especially for online spaces, it has majorly become to sell something. Commercial writing and writing should have had a balance on the online space. If you observe, commercial writing dominates the market. The motive of creating art just to create has been lost in some ways. Maybe, that’s how writers who could have been timeless artists of their art in ways they haven’t tried yet, have become the master players of actives, passives and content banks.

3. In The Long Run

Writer's Life

All these countless work online, in the race of ranking on a search site will someday fall off on the dark spaces of page numbers no one looks at. And, most of them, will be forgotten. In the long run, we’ll create so many of these. While there is nothing ethically wrong with it because it must have served the desired purpose when created. But, in them, at least some would have been opportunities to set this system right. Maybe make it better. Maybe, some writers, who could have broken their rigid editorial structure and create a Renaissance of their own world.

4. The Abstract Struggles

Writer's Life

While there are some, who are making use of this online writing space to create something valuable. But in many ways they struggle to make to the audience they need. We’re in the world where writing is 20% of the work and 80% is selling and marketing; is considered normal. In this the soul of the art itself, however you try, will reach it’s 20%. On the lines of what I said before, if Van Gogh painted Starry Night because he wanted to make it a “top 10 painting of all time”, there’s 80% chance we wouldn’t have known about it.

5. Your Art’s Control Is Not Entirely Yours

Writer's Life

Write on what is trending right now, look for how many times the keywords have been searched, think about your target audience, here are what these top pages are writing on, etc. As an online writer of today, these are a few of many countless things you’ll hear, read or learn. While they are valid for every legitimate reason, many times, the magic a writer’s personality would have added to the art is lost in these well-stitched strategies.

I hope soon we change that and find ways, to just create. The online space can become a place where there is balance of artistic expressions and commercial writings. And it should come in ways where the artist doesn’t need to mould it’s art in the defined strategies to make it. Even Instagram in many ways is becoming a space where there are development of these subtle rules to make the ‘algorithm’ work for you. At this pace, we’ll lose track of when art was lost to a trend.

I thought about making my intentions pretty clear. This is a mini time capsule for when 30 days will be complete. I set this exercise with an intention of achieving a couple of things. They say before you start something define your why it will boost the will to continue and follow through. So I did exactly that. The reason I started a 30-day writing plan was to test consistency first and second I wanted to fight my fears. Both of these things sound so bold, hence let us explore them in-depth.

Consistency: A Social Media Myth?

Consistency has become a mantra that everyone on the internet keeps talking about. Something that will magically lift your numbers: be it sales, followers or reach. Either way, for me it was a dilemma. I have seen people spiral down the road of consistency on social media and create content that lacks quality or is created to not break the trail. So, which was it, quantity or quality? Meanwhile, I tried a mid-way consistency non-gimmick plan with Project Expressions’ Instagram. Posted consistently with pretty good content. It still lacked something, because it didn’t pick up the pace. We did come across these industry experts who suggested to buy us fake likes and followers to get certain thousand numbers. According to them, that was a magnet point to attract more people to the profile. And guess what an Instagram account with 198 followers did? Outright rejected with a No. It was one of the clearest unapologetic ‘NO’ that I have given recently.
Authenticity has somewhere gone to a toss in the world of virality and filters. So where does this consistency game lead us? To here. One of the most abrupt, honest and unscripted experiences shared about writing, consistently without any excuses for 30 days. All that without letting my quality to go to toss. So, we’ll come back to this blog, which will be the mini time capsule for 30th March 2021. On this day, I will cover on Instagram statuses, how consistency has affected all the platforms.

Fears & Anxiety of being a Writer

It took a YouTuber named Ali Abdaal to give me the push off the edge of facing anxieties related to being a writer. Fears of not being an expert, not good enough, failing the write-up and countless more. I am not a traditional writer drenched in the ocean of words of countless authors. I am so specific about letting my work be untouched, not bend to certain rules that this ever so disciplined child is the most rebellious when it comes to writing. This makes me inherently have doubts about my credibility most of the times. This anxious personality doesn’t play only with one freedom, writing. I work with people who give me the freedom of letting my work define my rules. Fortunately, the result to date has been that I have exceeded their expectations and imagination both. But the counterpart to this is, I am scared of searching for more people. I often hold back myself to even step out to find collaborators or people to work with.

This video helped in many ways and suggested to document my process. This is particularly a challenge because usually with freelancing, I dedicate one week for it, if the project is really a big one then two. Apart from the other three weeks are dedicated to building a company with Project Expressions and home. I am a multi-tasker but when comes to writing I need absolute no disturbance whatsoever. And even as I write this, there are countless times I got up, worked on something else, checked emergency updates of PE and what not. And I still have to pull through, write this damn article. Not any other reason but after 30 days, I want to walk straight outta these fears, anxieties and excuses to honouring my art the right way.

This year of the pandemic was spent in contemplation and self-growth. I worked on the arenas of the self that I didn’t even know needed working. This was a beautiful process to face oneself and build, work on it. So, while this 30-days writing plan may sound like just another internet challenge, the reasons attached are quite strong. And, this time capsule blog done on day three is going to stay as a reminder that there’s no going back. For me and for those who are waiting for this push, own up to this time capsule as your own. The thing that you are running from and the things that challenge you, take it upon you to change it. Maybe then, we will create this wave of self-growth that comprehends beyond this time capsule’s intention.

Things men don’t have to do/worry about/expected of:

They are not expected to be tall. At least 5’9”.

They don’t have to be super successful, have a 6 figure salary.

Men don’t have to have their own house or be able to rent one.

Men don’t have to own a car or at least a bike.

Men are not expected in the slightest to have grand romantic gestures in a relationship.

Men are not expected to work and be primary earners.

They don’t have to have an MBA degree.

Men don’t need to have full grown beards.

They don’t need to look absolutely fit.

Men don’t get rudely pushed by women while walking on the street and still be insulted by no fault of their own.

Men don’t need to have a stable life before the age of 30 to get married.

Men don’t need to worry about losing their hair.

Men don’t need to worry about leaving their house to go live somewhere else just to make enough money to support their family back home.

Men are not expected to know how to fix almost everything inside the house.

Men don’t have to worry about being emotionally manipulated in relationships.

They certainly don’t have to own up to everything wrong in a relationship.

Men don’t have to worry about securing the financial future of their kids.

Men don’t get ridiculed when they follow their passion instead of working in a corporate office.

They don’t have to worry about crying in public. Like let’s say in a movie theatre because the scene was too emotional

Men are not expected to be able to fight in a Brawl situation. They won’t be seen as a coward if they walk away.

Men don’t have to worry about looking butch all the time. They can easily have feminine traits and not be called names.

Men have it way too easy. There is literally nothing that men need to worry about so I don’t get what the men crib about or do they?

SATIRE – The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

SEXISM – Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex.

Change needs to happen for everyone. Not just one.

To anyone who is reading and thinking “but women have it worse..” This isn’t a competition about who has it worse. Read to understand, don’t read in anticipation to use a point in comparison and be bitter about it. I believe we are all facing some form of inequality and change needs to happen for all of us.

Children will almost always expect their parents to show them love and care and as much as the world assumes that all parents love their kids it is simply not the case. 

What may appear on the surface is just that, a surface. What is underneath it all is not always visible to the world. 

More so in India there seems to be a lack of understanding not only among adults but also with the kids that parents do show toxic traits which affects kids on so many different levels. The kids who go through it find it all the more difficult to cope up as they mature because their peer group (who didn’t have to go through such things) cannot understand or simply refuse to accept the reality that not all parents are the same so they shrug off the notion that someone’s parent has put them through some tough times.

Hurtful words can leave a lasting impression on kids and have a deep psychological  impact on kids. Here are some signs to look out for or to avoid doing when you become a parent.

One of the most toxic traits of parents is when they say hurtful wishes like “I wish you were never born”, “I wish I had a different child”, “I wish I would be dead instead of dealing with you” etc. Such wishes have a lasting impact on kids that become so deep rooted that they always question their worth.

Questioning your child’s behavior with disgust all the time. Why do you eat that way? Why do you laugh that way? Is that how you should be walking? and so on. This makes the child question their actions all the time and thereby never feeling that they are doing something right. They are always conscious about their actions.

Threatening to abandon your kids every time they make a mistake ends up making kids believe that everyone around them will leave them or disappear on them. Threatening to drop them off in boarding school or to throw them out of the house for things as simple as mistakes made in their homework will make kids feel cautious about their simplest of actions. Kids will start questioning their actions as they grow up, believing that the ones close to them will leave if they don’t do exactly what others expect of them.

Always criticizing their appearance, you’re too thin, too fat, too tall, too short, too dark etc etc. Criticizing their physical features every now and then can lead to self image issues and never feeling confident in their own skin. Never feeling that they are physically good enough to be accepted as they are.

Making kids feel like they are a burden. You are a financial burden, You are exhausting to take care of, You are not worth spending time with. These are examples of how parents make their child feel like they are a burden and can even push them to inflict self harm or even have suicidal thoughts.

Lack of love, affection, materialistic things can make a child lean towards being abusive or even stealing.

Comparing with other kids all the time is like making them feel like they are not worth it. Eventually the child will start to believe that nothing they do is ever good enough, that they will never be good enough.

Dampening their spirits by always questioning them about their requests thereby reducing their confidence to try something new. When parents always ask doubtful question every time the child shows interests in something new, They may eventually start feeling scared to try something new that they truly wish to, thinking that they don’t deserve to have what they want.

Constantly making empty promises feels like a betrayal, breaks trust. When parents keeps making promises that are never fulfilled or gives empty hopes to their kids it creates a distrust in the child towards everyone around them. Disconnects them from people and they always feel like everyone is going to somehow cheat them or break their trust. Parents often end up saying “We’ll do it tomorrow”, “I will buy you that next time”, “We can have that next time” etc.

Beating your kids every now and then can cause fear, anxiety, depression and even create an abusive streak in kids. Make them violent. This sentence is as clear as it can be. Parents being physically violent to their kids can cause serious emotional trauma. I know this comes under physical abuse but it had to be mentioned.

Parents can be emotionally unavailable to kids and they may not even know it. Plenty of parents do just enough for their kids because they feel a parental obligation. This way they don’t feel guilty of not actually being there for their kids and it keeps them safe from other people who might point fingers at them. Their actions in such cases do not reflect on how much they Love and care for their kids. It is simply a selfish move so that no one blames them and they get to say that they did whatever they could. 

If kids go through such things in the formative years itself then there is very high possibility of them growing up to have a number of emotional problems that can hamper basic day to day functioning.

It is difficult when your home is the reason for your depression. Who do you turn to if the ones that are supposed to care and nurture you are the one who cause you pain in the name of “I care for you my child, that’s why I do what I do”

Some parents may not even know what damage is being done by their actions so if you ever happen to come across such signs then reach out. Kids deserve a safe environment, they deserve to be loved and nurtured.

Whether we believe we’re done or whether we believe we want to fight, it determines what the next steps will look like. 

Whatever happened in your past isn’t a cage for you to live in. You do not exist in that moment anymore. You’re here, you exist now. You’re a survivor, a Victor. 

We derive meaning from our past. If in our past we were victims then we will move forward as victims. We tend to focus on the few negatives from the past more than the many positives from the same past. Our minds do this which is a part of Cognitive Distortion. 

The meaning that we assign to our past determines how meaningful our future purpose would be. You can navigate your way through situations life throws at you and live to tell the tale. You can’t control what happens to you but you can surely control what actions you take. 

I used to play the victim card years ago. It made me stay in a negative zone. Cranky & complaining. When I ran out of things to complain about from my past I started finding faults in other places, till a few years ago when I had a sudden urge to stop this cycle of complaining and cry and look at my past as a series of experiences designed to teach me a lesson. I move forward today because I do not see my life from a victim standpoint. I am here, I am a warrior, I am a Victor. 

Change your perception of the past and Take charge of your present day.

Our perception influences our behaviour.

Perception is just the way we see things and not necessarily the way things are. 

Our focus is what we’re looking at. Our perception is where we’re looking from. We sometimes end up making mistakes or end up heading down the wrong path while being unaware of the fact that our perception was not accurate. 

Some perceive the world to be a bad place to live in so they wake up everyday finding what they can show outrage about.

Some perceive the world to be a beautiful place so they find ways to spread more positivity. 

Some perceive the work of others to be flawed and try to bring them down whilst not being productive themselves.

Some perceive the work of others to be something worth sharing to the world and do so without hesitation. 

A considerable part of our behavior is an outcome of our perception of the world around us.